When I was younger, I could always spend
so much time just writing and drawing away
on my pretty little diary. I must say, I was,
and still am, a very introvert child. xD

When I got into secondary school,
I got a lot more playful after the first
quiet year, and my diary evolved to
endless postcards. I wrote to a few close friends
on a daily basis, and on every card, I was able to
write something different with some personal touch.
I must say I really miss the me at that time.

As I grew older, my love for writing never fade.
But the people who appreciate it and actually reply
were not as many as it used to. (In fact there was only one.)
It was really depressing that the amount of writing I do decreased.
Maybe partly because I started writing on my blog too.

Putting thoughts and feelings into words is really
a good way to keep my mind organised.
It keeps me on track and makes sure I dont get too lost.
Even at times when I do get lost,
it can always help me find the way.

For every step I take is a part of my story,
and I have my pen in hand, writing away.

I'm not sure if it's because my life have been too good
or if I have been eating too much for the past year or so.
I have gained some significant weight since.
To be exact, since I started working here in the office.

I hate to remember how I 'outgrown' my pants
after a couple of months working here.
My tummy grew so big that the buckle refused to meet.
I cant describe how much agony I went through
before finally getting a new set of pants.

I guess I must really start looking for some ways
to slim down naturally while working in my office.
(=D is it even possible??)
Since I'm not allowed to cut down on the
amount I'm eating, and am really, really
skeptical about all slimming products.
Well, I've tried exercising too.
But the cycling sessions every one or two weeks
did not last as long as I wanted/hoped to be.

I've even started blaming everything possible and impossible.
I had this idea that being in a nicely air-conditioned
office is contributing to the fats content in me,
since I heard from the radio that for every degree C
your body lost, you are 12% less efficient to burn fats.

I think I need lots of sauna session.

Old Chinese sayings of
'A woman's heart is just like a needle at the bottom of the sea.'
and 'Nothing is more vicious than a woman's heart.'
can simply be reflected in just one woman I know.

To be honest, I could almost relate to her
at the beginning. The marriage breakdown was/is
so much like mine. Maybe with just some slight
differences here and there.

But I guess it is just impossible to be on her side
with all her ridiculous behavior and actions.
Still, who are we really to judge?
Seriously, she can do whatever she like,
piss the people she hates off and make their lives miserable,
and then act victim to seek help from others.

Even though I can no longer understand
the reason she's doing all this shit,
deep inside, I kinda feel sorry for her.
Quoting from 'The Secret', she manifested
and attracted all these bad things in her life.
After which, blame it to everyone who is not
sympathetic to her, and eventually take
advantage of whoever else that is left.

Because whenever I put myself in her shoe,
I could imagine all the beautiful things that could be.
Of course, I understand there will be tough times too.
But I'm sure there will also be so many to be grateful
and happy about. Remembering the bad times I had
back at that place, I came to realize that
whatever negative I was feeling, was mainly my own fault.
There and then, I made a choice to start anew.
Up till today, I give thanks for the choice I made,
and promised to give all for the better future,
instead of mourning about the lost past.

If every single human on earth is able to focus on the good,
understand and overcome the bad,
I believe the world will be better by the day. =)

For today, I do not pray for your happiness.
I pray for your ability to see happiness in every corner of your life.

この一年間、日本語の練習は
少なくなった気がする。
授業までサッボちゃって、
宿題も全然しなくて、ダメやなっ！
人生の新しいエピソードが始まり、
日常さえ変わるんだね。
そう言っても、練習したいや！
上手になりたいや！

このままじゃ、日本へ行くとき大変でしょう！
（実は今年いけるかどうかわからへんで～）
場所もわからないし、方向も悪いし、
日本語もできなかったら、どうすればいいのかなぁ。

昨日航空会社のサイト見てたの。
本当はそんなに高くないやな！
数百ドールでいけるやねん～
けど、宿泊も買い物も入ってないよね。
日本に行ったらたぶん全部買いかえりたいね～

来年、必ず行きます！