I was slacking at work as usual, and went to my blog like an addiction. Saw the "Past Tense" session, click on the oldest link and started reading.
Was smiling and laughing to myself as I read. The way I wrote, the thing I encountered, the feelings I experienced.
Reading towards the end, I saw this post.
"Welcome to my Palace of Happiness.
I'm the owner of this palace.
In my palace, everything nice exists.
Everything that makes people smile and happy exist.
Even if it's just a facade,
people only want to believe the good things.
Because they fear darkness.
In darkness, they see uncertainty.
And they chose to fear it.
If you are not afraid of knowing my dark side,
Go ahead and enter
My Palace of Darkness."
I was quite taken aback having read this. Not about the darkness side of me which always existed, but of the fact that I've been posting both good and bad things here, since I dont even remember when.
I miss the eRica that was always laughing and smiling, even when things are hurting really bad. I miss home.
Life is not about finding yourself.
It's about creating yourself.
But I wanna find the me whom I created then.