Sunday, April 12, 2009
Problems between in-laws

Have you ever wonder why problems always occur between in laws? The fights between the mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law never seems to end. From centuries ago, mothers-in-law are believed to be always torturing their sons' wives. Until today, it becomes bickerings and even fights.

I wouldnt say that I have no problems with my mother in law. In fact, I have lots of them. Hahax. But the problem is how one deals with the problems.

First, let's explain how the problems arise. I think it's rather difficult for guys to imagine, because they dont have to stay with their wives' parents after marrying. Imagine, living in the kind of lifestyle you're so used to for 18 or more years, and POOF. You're married, and you have to live with people you're not really used to.

You have to get used to their lifestyles, their ways of doing things, how they want you to do things. It's not easy, seriously.

EXAMPLE, from eRica. First handed experience.

My whole family loves music. My mom sings in shower sometimes, listen to all her hokkien songs, and of course chinese too. My sister and brother listen and sing too. So do I.

I'm so used to singing out loud in showers everyday. I listen to radio almost 24/7 at home, at school, travelling too.

New family. I dont even dare to sing softly in shower now. I still remember I was listening to my favorite rock song the other night. It wasnt even near to the volume I'm used to. But I was still asked to lower down the volume. Silent is gold. Try to understand. If you cant understand, come to my place. Hahax.

Well, the list wouldnt end, but it's all about giving and taking.

But after I've learnt to see things in a different perspective, I understand how conflicts occur and how to avoid them totally. Can you imagine if guys would to marry over to girls' side? They wouldnt even know what is dignity, trying to go along with others. But still, you will have to keep yourself while going along with others. Dont make them turn you into someone you're not. Love yourself first, before you actually learn to love others.

Not convinced?
Read some of these acticles then.

"Conflict arises when the newcomer and the more experienced matriarch wrestle over whose way is best." quoted from Mother-in-laws problems : They're worst for women by Jumana Farouky / London.

"Coming into a new family is a difficult process, and this is even more evident when there are significant differences between the way your family interacts and the way your in-laws do." - Quoted from Got in-laws problem by Andrew Rusbatch

eRica has grown. So did everyone else in JMD, AAA, SJCC. So did all my friends. We've grown tougher as time went by. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. I can proudly say that, I'm much stronger than the eRica you used to know.

But, I will still complain once in a while. Hahax.

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j0tt3d @t 1:12 PM
Me, I && Myself

XueQi aka eRika aka GinGeR

I love to bake,
trying out to cook.
I love cookies,
learning to like making cakes.

I can be nice
or evil.
I can be hyper
or quiet.

Trying my best to always
Love what I do,
and Do what I love.

I serve Nuffnang!

hIdInG pLaCeSsS


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